The Email

Who waits until late on a Friday to send out really not great news?

Well, a  lot of people do. After working in the news business for decades, I’ve realized that’s actually when most bad news is typically delivered. Press releases often go out right after the closing of the typical Friday business day (or whatever day it might be). It’s an easy out. If there is one. And it happens so that none of the decision makers can be contacted for comment until Monday and it helps delay having to deal with any fallout. Unless one is relentless in pursuing good sources, has an ‘in’ with those decision makers or you track down someone who’s been affected by the decisions and usually they’re searching for you, wanting to talk, you’re hard pressed to get your story.

I’m not good at waiting until Monday with questions I have about bad decisions made on a Friday. When I have questions, I try to go to the source in any situation as best I can and get answers. Not to be a pain, or create conflict. But to simply get answers.

I hung up the phone after talking with the Cowboy here a couple of weeks ago now. And I called our attorney for his thoughts …

“I don’t know. I really have never seen anything like this. I’m shocked by his decision,” he said. Then he added, “What don’t I know? What sort of history might you have with this judge that I’m not aware of?” he said.

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I caught up with a girlfriend early yesterday to go for a ride. She was off the hook to go out and help cut silage for the day – they had some unexpected help. I had enough work in front of me to last a 12 hour day. But I got a ‘please please please please please’ message from her. I couldn’t pass it up. The day was beautiful. Perfect, actually. We all know days like this are numbered as we head toward another South Dakota winter where the wicked winter winds that blow across the prairie make long rides relatively unbearable.

Barn cat

Barn kitty out soaking up the morning sun

Plus, time in the saddle is great to clear your head.

We also hadn’t had a chance to catch up in weeks. She was dying to know what was in the email I last wrote about. She was frustrated I hadn’t followed up yet with another post on what had happened.

“It’s best, while everything is still ongoing, to not say much of anything,” I told her.

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It’s why I haven’t written much now for over a year. It’s what our attorney feels is best. He’s probably right.

My problem with that is, and I said this to her … the situation we’re in and that so many others are as well, has just about everyone afraid to talk. If you do, too much is at stake. You don’t ever want to say anything that might piss off a judge who could possibly be ruling on your case. Or any of their buddies on the bench. Because they do talk. They do keep an eye on what you are doing. And they do in turn, have absolute power to change the entire course of your life and on top of that, make you pay. Literally. In so many ways. Regardless of what actual facts in the case may be and the law.

Unless someone knows. Or digs. Or isn’t afraid to pursue what is lawful and based on fact. Or share their story. More people need to share their stories, and it is happening across the country. Because it’s time.

In the meantime, we are quite certain the fact we’ve (more the Cowboy than me) been outspoken advocates for shared parenting in South Dakota and across the nation, has in fact, affected the rulings in our own shared parenting case.

“There’s just no other logical explanation,” our attorney said, shaking his head and looking hard at us in a recent meeting to follow up on ‘the email.’ A shared parenting proponent himself, he felt absolutely terrible leaving things where they were at. He had even helped draft what this year became the new law on Shared Parenting in South Dakota and felt our case was a slam dunk if there ever was one. It is most likely one of the last meetings we’ll have with our attorney. This one …

O-Mok-See

Our computers most often anymore, get set aside over any and all weekends. Especially weekends we are blessed to have all the kids around.

So the email… the email that came in just as the workday ended last Friday that stunned us both… we agreed to forget about the best we could for the weekend and enjoy our time together. And we’re glad that we did because it may have been the last warm, beautiful weekend we’ll see for quite some time.

There was little that could be done to change the situation anyway. At that point. And, we should have expected nothing less than the news we received, given our previous experience with the South Dakota family court system.

So before I get to discussing what was in the email .. this was from Sunday night. I started journaling again right before the power went out.

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Sunday has been a long day but a wonderful one at that – it was the first Sunday School session of fall, the whole family took part in our first O-Mok-See which lasted all afternoon… honestly, the first time I even heard the word was that afternoon when we were there. It’s different than what the kids are used to doing as well as the horses. So it was good for us.

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The Cowboy and the boys left early to get to their first fall flag-football practice (which they are totally stoked about), we all got home later than we would have liked on a school night and still had to put the horses and tack away, grab a shower, a bite to eat and get to work.

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The girls picked up their homework and went out to my office – the newness and privacy of it all has them excited and wanting to work out there. Needing somewhere quiet and with the Cowboy and the boys still not home, I stayed inside, sat down at the table, and started to catch up on emails, interviews yet to be logged and think through the articles due Monday morning at the paper.

The email, I still haven’t looked at it. But I already know what it says. We’re pondering the various ways we might folo-up this week.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pick Up Your Phone

I was talking with my uncle when the beeps came through. Two calls within a matter of moments. It was the Cowboy trying to get through on the other line.

I hesitated to switch over given we had just talked minutes earlier. Surely it could wait, I thought. But two calls. Maybe the shoeing rig finally died. Maybe there was an accident. Something had to be up. It wasn’t like him to pester.

“Can I call you back?” I asked my uncle.

I no more than hung up and a text appeared.

“Pick up your phone,” it read.

I called him back.

“Have you seen the email,” he asked?

Stunning Sunsets

Carleen Wild:

Caught this shot on my way home from town the other night – I couldn’t believe the colors. Stunning. Simply stunning.

Originally posted on Visit Flandreau:

There are few sunrises or sunsets that disappoint from our little corner of this earth. But we’ve seen a number of them recently from Flandreau that are absolutely breathtaking, that have even the most seasoned of sunset watchers running to grab their cameras.

Cows at Sunset

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Dish-To-Pass

What is your first thought – when you’re asked to bring a dish to pass?

We’ve got a potluck after church today. Our daughter is among those being confirmed. And everyone is getting together post-service to celebrate in one place versus everyone going off and doing their own things.

My co-workers will vouch for this: my potluck staple is salad. Fresh, leafy greens, strawberries often on top and perhaps some sliced almonds, salad. Usually, while others heavy, fat-laden, cheesy and fulfilling home-cooked dishes would get snarfed up, I’d go home with a good deal of lettuce left in the bowl.

But, I can’t do a ton of heavy dishes.  I just can’t. I feel awful for hours afterwards, even eating in moderation. Those spaghetti hot dishes, macaroni salads and meatballs that often grace potluck tables really are good, they really are and I enjoy them immensely. But I eat more like a rabbit. I graze. Mostly on fresh fruits and vegetables. And, well, cheese and bread. I just feel better. And the older I get the more I realize I’ve got to watch what I eat as much as I fit in any exercise. So salad it is.

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But as I get set for this mornings potluck, I’m thinking back on some of the more common dishes my mom and dad used to make and take – German Potato Salad, Goulash, Cheesy Broccoli and Rice, Mint Ice Cream Brownies.. to name a few. And I’m feeling like perhaps I’m missing out by bringing .. well, a nice leafy green salad.

So I’m wondering what others may say is their favorite, home-cooked, bring to the party, make ahead of time and stays delicious, potluck or one-pot dish? The ones you love to eat or make?

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As I flip through one of my mom’s old, well loved and used church cookbooks, I’m not certain any of the casseroles are ones I want to necessarily make, not today anyway. But they do bring back some wonderful memories of dishes made and shared with friends, and time in the kitchen and around the dinner table with family.

And if all I continue to make are salads, what sort of well used recipe cards or cookbooks will I be passing along to my kids?

Thunder

The clock just turned twelve. I had hoped to sit down to write hours ago. But I got sucked into a movie with the only two that were still up, the Cowboy and one of the twins. It’s been awhile that we had his littles here. The end of the school year and holidays always kind of mess up co-parenting schedules a bit, so it’s been longer than usual that we’ve seen them. We’re soaking up each moment we can, while we have them.

Besides a couple of the horses munching on the grass yet in the pasture nearby, I can hear only the rumbling of thunder off in the distance. Rain storms have been in and out of the area and throughout South Dakota since last night. The mixture of the storms along with the recent heat we’ve had, have made for some beautiful skies throughout the day – magnificent cloud formations and the sun peeking through only moments later.

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After suffering through a seemingly never-ending bitterly cold winter, it all now seems so far away. The weather recently has made for what feel like those quintessential, absolutely perfect summer days. And I love summer storms. Not the crazy, violent kind – and storms around here do kick up some pretty nasty winds.  I’m just talking about those refreshing summer showers, maybe some thunder and lightning. The kind you can smell coming – kind of summer rains.

As the skies cleared this evening, it just felt like one of those nights my parents used to go for walks through town when we were kids. I was wiped out, along with everyone else after a busy day. But we cleaned up from dinner and while everyone else sat down to watch a movie, I laced up my running shoes one more time and headed down the road. So glad that I did. The palette of colors that stretched as far as the eye could see, in-between very dark storm systems which were producing a heavy mist on the ground in the distance – were these gorgeous pink and orange pastels, almost like a water color painting. I picked up the pace of my leisurely walk in the hopes I might get home and grab my camera fast enough to catch even one image of it.

Not so lucky. The best colors were long gone. But I decided to grab some of the last light of day, anyway. I’m absolutely blown away at how quickly the days go by anymore. While nearly half a year has gone by already, I’m excited summer is upon us.

Welcome, June. It’s good to see you again.

Storms moving back in

 

 

Home Office

The Cowboy told me at least two years ago now if not three .. this was shortly after we first met but well after we knew this was such a good thing .. that if I would consider a move to South Dakota, he wanted me to have freedoms I wasn’t able to enjoy in the past. That of a flexible life and schedule. A career where I could pursue any number of my passions and do so from the solitude of our acreage or wherever else my work might take me. He and his dad would build me a small office, a space all my own out here on the acreage. It wouldn’t take any time at all to put up, he told me. His dad builds steel buildings and this would be a quick and easy project. All I needed to do was say the word.

Years later, families combined under one roof in one state and some long overdue repairs and remodeling done to the house to better accommodate us all, the office has now become our focus. I couldn’t be more grateful.

Before the snow started to fly last November, we re-roofed our old red barn with used tin found on Craigs List (I say we, loosely. The Cowboy and his dad tackled the majority of that project. So glad it’s over. So is the Cowboy’s mom who couldn’t stand to be over here watching her husband and son 30 feet in the air working on it.) Since then, the cold winter kept any work in the hayloft at bay. But we are feverishly back at it.

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We recently found more cool, old tin from the Stockyards in Sioux Falls for some of the interior walls.

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Sioux Falls Stockyard Steel Panels

And a farmer just down the road has been planning to burn his old livestock barn to the ground. We’ve gone and pulled boards to use for trim and another interior wall.

Insulation has made the loft remarkably comfortable and drywall is going up where barn wood and steel panels aren’t. I’ve saved an old light fixture to use in the space. Friends offered to part with two old windows from their grainery, we’re using those too. We found the coolest old tailgate to turn into a desk. I talked with a friend tonight who’s an auctioneer and let them know we’re looking for a couple of old wood cabinets I might use for storage.

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It may not be in the time-frame we initially talked about. But the delay allowed us some wonderful opportunities to do things differently than we might have otherwise and make use of a great existing space. It also allowed me to start building a business that is now ready for a little more elbow room.

For each step of this journey – with the Cowboy, with my daughter, our families, friends, even my ex, my career, faith and life – incredibly humbled and grateful.