First time for everything ..

I wake to find the Cowboy sitting at the keyboard, once again.

“I did my first tweet,” he laughs.  “I tweeted.”

We are both back at the computer, me to check on a few things, look for story ideas and share some thoughts here before I hopefully squeeze in a run before work today.

Him, to continue gathering information and thoughts before his trip back home and to Pierre this Thursday morning.

The Cowboy has been at the computer a lot lately.

In fact, he told me yesterday, he hasn’t worked this much on the computer since college.

If you haven’t read a couple of my earlier posts that would explain what any of this is about.. It’s all in preparation of testifying before the Senate Judiciary Committee this week.

The Cowboy plans to testify along with some others, about why he feels the South Dakota state legislature should support a law allowing both parents in a divorce to have time and placement with their children.  There are two options.  One would be a step above current law.  The other (below) would be a tremendous step forward.

http://legis.state.sd.us/sessions/2012/Bills/SB60P.pdf

Current statute in South Dakota dictates it is in the best interest of a child to live almost exclusively with one parent.

http://www.sdjudicial.com/uploads/forms/ProSeDivorceForms/UJS%20302%20-%20South%20Dakota%20Visitation%20Guidelines.pdf

And it has torn countless families apart, we’re learning.  The Cowboy has been taking an increasing number of calls from other parents who want to help raise their kids, but who, through divorce have been deliberately alienated from their children.

The Cowboy, by the way, has tried calling his kids everyday – once a day since seeing them last.  He gets a few hours after school with them each Wednesday.  Just one phone call has been allowed.  That was on Thursday this past week.  He hasn’t been allowed to speak to his children since.

We’re just never sure why that is.  Especially when the kids ask him to call more often.

It’s sad he is left in this scenario with two choices;  tell them he does call but for some reason their mother doesn’t answer .. or tell them they’re right, he should call more often leaving them to believe their dad doesn’t care or want to be more a part of their lives.  No one wins here.  Including the kids.

Which is why .. the Cowboy sits at the computer again today.  Making sure he’s maximizing awareness these two shared parenting bills are coming up for debate.

Given the lack of publicity, the Cowboy felt a bit defeated this weekend, that no one really cares.

I remind him, it’s enough that he does.  Because there are many, many others out there who like him, aren’t sure what to do about their own devastating situation.  Someone needs to be their voice.

Tweet, testimony, or otherwise.  I’m pretty sure he feels good to be doing ‘something’ to work toward positive change.  If not in his own situation, hopefully for others.

What I do know for certain, is that he’s looking forward to the day twitter is no longer in his vocabulary, he can get back shoeing horses (winter fortunately is a slow time of year for work) and the work he enjoys most.

That is being a dad.

Serving up breakfast

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6 thoughts on “First time for everything ..

  1. Here’s something I rarely tell anyone in the Bloggosphere. Blondie is my step-daughter! Yep, we have an ex-wife in our midst. I met my hubby when he was a baby, and at first, the X did everything she could to keep Blondie from him, even though he had been the one to form the tightest bond with her as a baby. Eventually she resorted to hiding her at times when we came to pick her up. We struggled for 5 years and then we got custody. Now Blondie lives with us. She is 17. The turmoil her mother reaped almost ruined their relationship, but we allow Blondie to call or see her mom whenever she wants to. She can go on a Tuesday or two weekends in a row, we don’t stress over it. She still tries to create stress in the situation, but in the end it only weakens her own relationship. Kuddos to Cowboy, I think its a great thing he is doing. Joint custody can be very healthy as long as kids are expected to live under similar limitations… How can it hurt a kid to have a Dad that wants to be involved? I just formed a whole new level of respect for your Cowboy! Best wishes, and let me tell you, for every 1 dad you hear from, there are a hundred more out there that wanna see this legislation go through. We live in Texas, but I can’t believe the news hasn’t given this more attention!

    • Dang, I just noticed I made a big typo. I met hubby when *SHE* (Blondie) was a baby. Not he! LOL People who use children in the game of divorce are wrong for that. Often they are unable to separate their own pain from what’s best for the kids, but it’s no excuse! We used to struggle with whether or not to tell Hannah we had tried to see her, but finally we did, we said “we were here to get you” and just left it at that. My daughter became a singer because writing music was her way of dealing with the pain. You should look up “Walk Away” by Hannah Prestridge on Itunes, and just listen to the words. This is the song she wrote to her mother… and you will see nothing good comes from being immature when you are a parent. It will always come back and get you!

      • oooh, I will check it out. And knew there was the typo. Or that’d be weird.. lol. Divorce no matter what way you come at it, is painful. But the pain doesn’t have to be perpetuated. Adults needs to grow up sometimes. But that would require they look in the mirror and take full responsibility for their own behaviors. Some just aren’t responsible or strong enough to do that. And to top it off they’re ignorant enough to believe that they’re not abusive if physically they don’t touch. Words and actions can hit just as hard and do as much damage. And as you pointed out, such behaviors often comes back to hit the parent smack dab in the a** down the road. Its just too bad kids can’t be allowed to love both parents equally but the current system in many states seems to want to foster the opposite. I’m really not sure why that is. I’ll listen to the song.. and if its ok, may use it if not tonight, soon in my blog. Tonight I need to vent about the media. Which could be tricky given its my profession…

      • That’s always tricky. I work in education, and believe me, I have some constructive criticisms…. Yes, you’re welcome to use her music. Her song “Breakdown” is also about the breakdown in that relationship. Hope you enjoy them both just as the teenage perspective when a parent has played those games…. Her pain has grown into her art. Hope you can relate to it! 🙂

  2. your comments make me want to cry .. thank you for reading and for sharing the above. you have no idea how much that might lift the Cowboys spirits, who feels like he’s fighting a battle no one else seems to care about, today. sincerely.. thank you. and SO glad to hear things on your end are going in the direction they are. no matter how much adults like to try and hurt each other, its the kids that ultimately suffer the most. i’m not sure why grown adults can’t see this.

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