(From Thursday. A bit behind but I’m pretty certain no one gives a dang but me.)
I keep getting this direct message on Twitter:
“Yo. That person has been saying nasty things about you.”
Besides worrying I might click on the wrong thing and give my computer a virus versus blocking the source, it makes me laugh.
Maybe someone, somewhere is saying nasty things about me.
Actually, I’ve come to realize it’s not a maybe. It’s a most likely. Chances are, if you are active, involved, stick your neck out, take risks, go through a divorce, climb the ladder, heck, even if all you do is sit at home, don’t work, complain, freeload or just try to be a good person, you get the drift .. someone’s p&m-ing about you at any given time.
Do we care? Should we care?
“Don’t care what others think of what you do. Care very much about what you think you do.” – St. Frances Desalles
My daughter said to me yesterday as I was about to drop her off at school that she and one of her best friends were still having issues. There’s been a third girl in the mix since the beginning of the school year who, to say the least, has been doing her best to drum up drama between them and hurtful words are being said.
“How are you handling that? Are things going better,” I asked her. I try and at least check in with her on that weekly because it seems the dynamic is always changing. (Of course it is.)
We talked about it for a few minutes. She seems to be handling it fairly well from what I can tell and not getting too overly lost in 5th grade turmoil. Good to hear because if experience tells us anything, it’s that things don’t get any easier in that department for girls especially, heading into middle school.
But bullying and drama don’t stop once we pass through our school age years. Any of us, I’m sure, continue to see a ridiculous amount of it as adults. Both socially and in the workplace. We just hope we’ve better learned to let things roll off our back.
Not always easy.
And .. some are far better at it than others. Time and life experience (and helpful advice like some of what’s mentioned in the link above) help us all .. well, let me rephrase that, many of us realize it’s both not worth our time or energy to speak ill of others. Or, to worry about what others – who seem to take pleasure in putting others down in order to build themselves up – say at all.
The Cowboy and I were talking about that this weekend. There are a lot of people who seem to just watch and wait for you to mess up and then they can’t wait to be the first to point it out. In fact, there are a few that I know read this blog who are just waiting for something good they might get me on or use against me, I’m quite certain. When those people have to be a big part of your life, how does one handle it? Or .. can you? Should we care? One of my biggest challenges over the years has been learning to minimize and let go, remove myself from the drama, because I have the choice to let it become my drama as well or let it slide. I’ve got a long way to go, but getting there ..
In the meantime ..
I try to instill best I can in my daughter, to treat others the way she wants to be treated, really know the type of person she wants to be and live that way everyday. That way she can hold her head high. No matter who says what about her. A friend, or that mean person on Twitter.
I keep getting that message on Twitter too! It cracked me up considering the person I get it from is just a fellow blogger. I tell you what, it took me forever not to care what people are saying about me, but life is so much better when you learn to let it all go!
So good that you have a great open ended conversation with your daughter, girls are so tough ten….and on…..sounds like you are a great mom….
.I liked your reference to the state posterboards…I always said if I taught fifth grade I would have gotten the whole grade level on board for a “State Fair” with booths the kids would make representing their state with games and information for the rest of the school to visit!