Joe.

“He’s been a great horse,” the Cowboy says tonight as we’re talking about him.

“He’s been steady, strong, reliable.  Lot different than when I bought him.  Bought him from a friend back in 2005 and they were afraid of him.  All he wanted to do was buck and be snorty on the ground.”  But the Cowboy thought he was super cool looking and really smart.  

He kept him. 

Wessington Springs.

“After I got him, I went and rode with one of the best working cow horse trainers in the country, the guy is legendary.”

He’s gone on to become PRCA two-time Heel Horse of the Year, Four-time Minnesota Rodeo Heel Horse of the Year..

Badlands Circuit Finals.

Joe has since, become the horse everyone wants to ride.  Guests.  The kids.

Me.

But with the Cowboy essentially off the rodeo circuit for now, focusing on being a good dad and husband as well .. Joe’s been standing .. a lot .. out in the pasture.

And it’s killed the Cowboy to know he’s capable of so much more.

After years of inquiries into whether or not he’d ever sell Joe.. Joe this week, goes to a new home.  A great home.  One where he will be put to good use.

But we are all so very sad to see him go.

We went to the most wonderful dinner last night at our friends vineyard ..

It was a beautiful night filled with old friends and new ..

And at the end of the night, a couple we had talked with at length said to us as ..

“Enjoy your life, it is the best possible thing you can do.”

I just happened looked at the clock this morning as I was bustling about the apartment helping the Cowboy gather up his things .. to head again for his/our SD home ..

It struck me, that it was about the exact same moment a week ago .. we had the accident.

A moment I haven’t been able to shake.

We were on our way to school Monday morning, comfortably early and enjoying the moment.  We turned down a side street we often will take, proceeding slowly and remarkably with no distractions other than the conversation ..

A flash of something appeared no sooner than we heard whatever it was, hit the car.

“What was that, mom?  What was that?” my daughter asks in a panic.

I had slammed on the brakes and had little idea what it was until I looked in my rear view mirror.

I saw a young girl, picking up her bike.  She didn’t seen me coming and ran a stop sign.  She and a friend had also been on their way to school.

I ran back to the scene.  The young girl already up, apologizing and telling me she was fine.  Repeatedly.  Embarrassed, I think and probably in shock.

“Are you sure,” I ask.  Also, repeatedly.  And we both started to cry.

I was grateful she was okay, stunned at what had just happened and at the same time, frustrated she could have been so disrespectful of the stop sign, only because it could have just cost her, her life.

………

One second earlier was all I could think, if she were one second earlier, or had I braked seeing her coming this could have been a very different outcome.  One that makes me shudder each time the vision crosses my mind.

I haven’t been able to shake it.  And I have felt awful even thinking about the damage to my car.  How could that possibly be important in the grand scheme of things ..

A few days later .. on our way to school again, we saw the same two girls, this time taking another route to school but both back on their bikes.

Please.  Be safe girls.

………….

Hug your kids.  Remind them it is imperative they, like anyone else using the road, follow the rules of the road.  A stop sign means stop, even if it doesn’t look like there is any traffic coming.  Especially if the oncoming traffic has the right of way.  We can all try and keep an eye out for each other but sometimes those safety nets fail.  And, never a skeptic of helmets but never one to always wear one either, I am now a believer.

Seems many of the gigs the band has played lately ..

.. have revolved around food.

Chili cook-off’s .. rib competitions .. salsa throwdowns.

Grateful part of the pay often tends to be a taste of everything being served up and a pretty spectacular view of everyone enjoying it

I try and start each day with a walk or a run.  Mainly, because the dog needs to go out.  But also because, when I make time, I want and need the exercise.  That, and the meditation that time allows me.

I try then, during those few minutes when I am not scooping up dog poop into a little baggie, to spend some time alone with myself and God.

I give thanks for the crisp, fresh air and sunshine or the raindrops or snow or wind that feel incredible on my face.  For being able to hear the sound of my feet gently striking the pavement.  For my physical health and the ability to even be out and moving like I am.  For my dog who makes me laugh as she grabs her leash in her mouth each morning, talking to me, so excited to be out for a run.  Or just out.

I pray family and friends and the world know peace and health and safe travels for the day, wherever their journey may be taking them.  And I breathe deep, remembering my shoulders shouldn’t be at ear level.  And I reflect on all of the challenges before me.  And us.  And I ask for guidance.  And insight.  And clarity.  And to always be open to learning whatever it is I still need to learn.

God asks no man whether he will accept life.  That is not the choice.  You must take it.  The only question is how.  ~  Henry Ward Beecher.

It’s not always easy to take that time.  And sometimes, depending on the situation, it truly is a challenge to give it over to God.

When I reflect on those kind of days, and there have been a few more than usual as of late .. those are the nights, I set my shoes by the door, ready for the morning.

Sunday, we didn’t have much time together.  But those who were left, a few close family and the friends who brought the Cowboy and I together to begin with .. were the only ones that morning at the ranch.

It was beautiful.

Quiet.

And we reflected on what a year and a half it has been and how grateful we are for the time together, our family and friends and the life before us.

See you all again soon ..

And when we have the official, ‘official Mr & Mrs party’ (we may just have at least one of those a year, just because) sometime in the spring .. we hope to see you and many, many more pulling back in the drive.

Until then, safe travels ..

Mimosas to kick off the celebration ..

Feast of pulled pork and bbq ..

Enjoying the music ..

Rare moment some of the kids still enough to capture a pic ..

Nightfall means cozying up the fire(s) ..

Closing down a fantastic day ..

I was able from the road, to track down our friends car and the owner of the place where it had been towed.  He could not have been nicer, nor more accommodating.  He answered the phone with a high school football game going on in the background and apologized for how loud it was.  I apologized for bothering him ‘after hours.’

“Not a problem,” he said.  “How is the couple?  And do you know how the other driver is? I’m pretty sure I know her.”

The crash happened just outside a small town where everyone knows everyone.

Turns out this woman, a lovely woman in her 80’s, had pulled over on the side of that 2-highway road for some reason, let traffic in her lane go by and when it looked like the last car had passed going in her same direction, she pulled back onto the road and went to turn left.  Left, into the path of our dear friends.  She never saw them coming.

Thank goodness everyone walked away relatively unscathed.  Sore.  Bruised.  A few stitches.  Both parties in need of new vehicles.  But alive.

…………..

The Cowboy stopped and picked up their luggage from the mangled car, went by the hospital, gently helped get them into the truck and took them to their hotel room.  They were going to be okay.  We would see them in the morning.

That night though, there was a house full of people gathered for us.

We arrived that night back at his folks house at almost the same time.

…………….

The love and joy and coming together of family and friends for a weekend we weren’t even planning to have this fall .. was wonderful, so appreciated, enjoyed and a bit overwhelming.

We stepped into a houseful of people simply waiting for us to get there safely too.  There were kids and hugs and stories being told and laughter and one incredible cake .. the Cowboy’s parents hosting a welcome party for everyone who came to town that Friday night.

Thank you to everyone who made that trip, you have no idea how much the time with you means to us.  Thanks especially to the Cowboy’s parents, for being so gracious to all that weekend .. and for sharing your home and hearts with new family and friends from Wisconsin.

Believe I have written about this before.  My default.  I tell everyone I know who’s hitting the road typically, to drive safely.

It drives some people nuts (my dad), because of course, ‘they always do’.  ‘They’ve never been in an accident.’  So why would I tell them that unless I thought they were a bad driver?

It doesn’t necessarily have to be them/you/us causing the problem ..

Not far into our drive to South Dakota last Friday afternoon, my phone rings.  It’s a number I don’t recognize.  I pick up.

“Hey .. ”

“Hey,” I reply.  “Who is this?”

“It’s R.  How’s the drive going?  Where are you guys?”, a dear friends daughter asks.  (This is a daughter of one of my closest girlfriends and the woman who is somewhat responsible for the party going on even though it had been un-planned.  She and her significant other simply wanted to come out and spend time with us if we were up for it despite the party being postponed.)

I tell her.  And then I start to realize something has to be wrong for her to be calling me.

“What’s up,” I say.

“There’s been in an accident.”

“What do you mean there’s been in an accident?  What happened?”

“They were in a head-on crash from what I’ve been told.”

My mind raced as I wondered how bad the accident could be, and how a head-on was possible if they were still on the interstate as I had recommended.  How is that possible, I keep saying to myself.

My daughter, sitting next to me, says, ‘Mom, what’s wrong?’ …

“They’re in the ambulance.  We’re on our way,” says R.

As others are arriving to set up camp at the ranch, I know they need help.  I call the Cowboy.  He drops everything, sends family and friends to his parents where we are all to meet that night anyway, and heads out to do what he can to help.

My daughter and I are still 3 hours away from the scene – a two-lane highway GPS steered them off on only about 40 miles from the ranch.

I ask to please let us know what we can do to help even from the car.  Say a prayer for them all and think, ‘this can’t be happening.’  They have to be okay.

There has not been a day that has gone by since meeting the Cowboy, that I have taken for granted what a blessing it has been God brought this man, this family into our lives.

We married knowing we would face some uncertainties, challenges and frequent commutes .. for who knows how long.  We have always kept at the forefront of our decisions, doing what is best, as best we know, for our kids.

We simply wanted to commit to being together, to building our family, to combining friends, resources, lives and hearts.  This is one of the most incredible people I have ever met in my life and while the scenario may not look traditional or how some people feel it should look to take that step, make that leap..

They are not us.

At the time of our wedding earlier this summer, we were planning a wonderful celebration in South Dakota this weekend to celebrate.  There are still many in South Dakota I have not met.  That our families have not met.  We were so looking forward to all sides coming together for a beautiful day of family, friends and hopefully a lot of love and laughter shared.  But given some of the things happening right now, we decided shortly after the wedding, it was best to postpone.  Wait until spring or next summer.

That was, until a girlfriend about three weeks ago said to me .. “Hey, I already took that day off.  Can we still come anyway?”

That turned into a second.  And before we knew it, many more chimed in.  Two weeks ago, the Cowboy and I said .. what the heck, let’s do it.  And almost all who’ve decided on this impromptu gather (apologies to others we had hoped could/would come and we’ll have another party in the spring/summer, promise!)  have at this hour, already pulled their RV’s or trailers into the Cowboy’s drive.

We will be the last to arrive this evening.  And tomorrow we will unfortunately be without three of the most important little people we had hoped could attend .. to celebrate.  They will be missed terribly as their smiles and laughter are infectious.  But there is still so much to celebrate, as imperfect as it may look or seem to others.

And we couldn’t be happier ..

So love you, Cowboy.