Category Archives: Life

Sunset

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The view from my in-laws house to the west each night is truly amazing.

Sunset from Randy and DarlasThere is little to get in the way of soaking up an entire sky of sunset. A much needed grounding for us this evening ..

As we gathered up the kids after a long day, a long week, family coming to town for the Cowboy’s grandmother’s funeral and an unfortunate situation we all had the opportunity to discuss before heading for home, the above scene was a reminder of how small some things are .. and that the God given big picture is almost always, incredibly beautiful.

The Tuck

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Because I wrote about the Senior Photo shoot the other day .. I thought I would follow it up with this particular post. Because I noticed the Senior the other night doing the same thing the Cowboy does.

Tuckers boots

The tuck.

I’ve been meaning to write about this for awhile now because every time I see the Cowboy wearing his pants & boots like this, I think to myself, ‘that would be something fun to talk with him about.’ I’ve never asked him directly why he does it. The reasons, living on the ranch, have become apparent. I’ve just admired, quite frankly that he doesn’t care what anyone might think about how he looks. And it makes me chuckle because some of the men I know, city cowboys especially, would never be caught dead wearing their pants inside their pointy toed, silver tipped (the Cowboy wanted me to be sure and add that element) boots. Not that there’s anything wrong with that ..

Don’t get me wrong, he can dress up with the best of them and his pants are most often worn with the hem dragging on the ground.

Casey Shoeing

But the day to day can often mean ripped and dirty jeans haphazardly tucked inside the boots.

What can tucked jeans tell you about a cowboy? The Cowboy tells me:

– Chances are, he/she is walking around horse manure often during the day and they don’t want to get their jeans dirty.

– They may want to simply show off the tops of their boots – boots anymore can be incredibly beautiful and detailed, especially those that are custom made. Have you looked at boots lately? Dan Post. Luchesse. Old Gringo. Tony Lama. Justin. Laredo. Resistol. Ariat. Olathe. Seriously, the list goes on and and on.. I haven’t even touched the growing market of custom cowboy boot makers.

“Girls often do it as part of a fashion deal, to show their boots off, right?” the Cowboy says to me. “Same thing.”

Clints boots

Some do it, real cowboys, like ranch cowboys, because they’d rather have their boots take a beating than their jeans.

“You know why boots were made taller?” the cowboy asked me as I’m talking with him about this. “It was originally to protect cowboys from snake bites, the west is full of rattlesnakes. The taller the boot, the less likely a snake could get at your leg. Good boots also protect you from brush, if you’re riding through heavy brush .. you know, if you go to West Texas where the brush is high and thorny? That’s how they wear them, up to their knees. They also keep friction off the inside of your leg when you’re riding. I never had hair on the inside of my legs when I was younger because I rode so much. Nobody ever really questions anymore why boots have tops anymore. They actually have a practical reason for being tall. They’re meant to help protect.”

Spurs

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We were sitting on the back porch of a friends home last night catching up. Every time someone got out of their chair to go grab something to eat, drink or whatever the reason .. there it was.

The jingling of spurs.

Spurs

Never knew how comforting a sound that would be ..

…………….

I didn’t know much about spurs until I met the Cowboy. Never spent much time around any horse people that wore them. Perhaps a couple. I didn’t understand the value in them, especially when working with a stubborn horse. Not until recently, anyway. I often go to the arena to ride without them because I like to think that I can get a horse to mind because, well just because I want to be nice. And because I know they are good horses. The cowboy informed me the other night am to wear them whenever I ride, regardless. It came as I was increasingly frustrated one of the newest horses to the herd was definitely not going to do what I was asking her to do. And the Cowboy was frustrated with me.

“How many times have I told you to always have your spurs on,” he said .. in a stern tone of voice as the horse reared.

“You’ve got to wear them to help get their attention sometimes,” he says to me today, knowing this is today’s post. “You’ve got to have something to make them respect your legs or your leg cues. Horses often become desensitized to someone sitting on them for any length of time. They do what they want and often do as little as they have to when they can get away with it. It’s like a kid. if there’s no consequence to any of their behavior, ever .. pretty soon they’re always pushing boundaries and going their own way versus the way you want. And a 1200 pound horse pushing boundaries can be dangerous. Most horses don’t behave well just because they want to please you. That’s a rarity.”

My spurs now live on my riding boots. Right alongside the entire family’s ..

…………..

I’ve also learned that the piece that fell off my daughter’s spur earlier this summer that needs replacing .. is called a rowel. A much more technical term than the ‘back of the spur’ as I’ve been calling it until recently. Go ahead and laugh all you veteran cowboys out there. At least I’m trying. And admitting how much I know I have yet to understand about this life and lifestyle.

So far .. despite the setbacks, falls and challenges, it’s been a lovely ride.

220px-SpurDiagram.svg

The parts of a spur include (via Wikepedia):

  • The “yoke”, “branch”, or “heel band”, which wraps around the heel of the boot.
  • The “shank” or “neck”, which extends from the back of the yoke and is the area that touches the horse.
  • The rowel, seen on some spurs, a revolving wheel or disk with radiating “points” at the end attached to the shank.

Enjoying the rain.

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As I sit working from the kitchen table this Friday .. I hear the sound of hooves and laughter coming down the driveway.

The girls are back together for the first time in months and seem to sincerely be enjoying each other’s company.

It’s drizzing rain today, cool and cloudy. While most people are cursing this summer weather ..

Bareback

They really don’t seem to mind. Beautiful.

The Cottage ..

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Summer afternoon – summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language. – Henry James

the lake

I’m staying all week at a cottage on Lake Wisconsin, one that is home to me. Actually it is the summer home of my very best, oldest and dearest friends. Her family’s cottage. It just feels like home because I’ve been coming here since I was a child.

My girlfriend and I and all of her relatives and other friends we’ve grown up with, we all now bring our own children here. I pray that someday this sweet, totally old-school and full-of-charm little cottage still stands and that our children someday are reminiscing about their childhood summer days spent on the Wisconsin River. Like we do now. And that they bring their own children to this shore..

………

I hadn’t intended to be in town, back in the Madison, WI area all week but I’m here to both work and wrap up some family matters. Matters I thought might be easily resolved long ago. Some things will just never be easy.

Reflecting, amidst the chaos in one area of my life, on everything else that is so good in every other way. I am so incredibly grateful for this time at the cottage, for the reminders of all that is good about summer, of simpler times, of no television or internet when I don’t want it, some emotional peace and quiet, for a lifelong friendship .. and time here with my own daughter.

Farm Fresh Eggs ..

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I had been sitting the other day at the kitchen table, where most of my work is done anymore, when I heard the Cowboy’s van pull up.  He shoes out of a van that is a story in and of itself. Anyway …

I went to the door to greet him, it had been a long day. And as he got out of the van, I saw him reach for and pull out a plastic bag that was absolutely full. I knew what was in it, he often brings bags like this home.

“We got eggs,” he said smiling.

EggsThere are customers of the Cowboy’s that often will send wonderful treats home with him. Farm fresh eggs, fresh bread, wonderful vegetables and the list goes on. I am incredibly grateful not only for their generosity to our family but also that they appreciate the work the Cowboy does trimming and shoeing their horses for them to the extent, I believe this is the country version of a tip.

Fry ’em up!

South Dakota Sunset

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I’m back. I think. To journal, which has always been the simple intent of this blog. This time around, it may also be to somehow learn to write AP Style.

Why is that? Because television journalists are told to forget the rules and write like people talk. Forgetting the rules has served me well the better part of the past 15 years. But it’s meant a few public relations/marketing jobs I’ve considered since moving to South Dakota have gone to others. Apparently, I’m told, these positions require someone fluent in AP style because sentences need to be full sentences and dot-dot-dot isn’t considered a formal sort of punctuation mark. (I sure hope someone is mentioning this to our texting generation kids!)

I’ve decided, even if I am no longer officially job hunting (it’s always good to know what else might be out there, aren’t we supposed to always be looking?) it’s still a good thing for me to re-learn how to write. AP Style. For the record, I am keenly aware this post isn’t a great first effort.

…………….

A lot has happened the past few months. Heck, the past year. Life has changed and changed me. I hope and believe, in only good ways. Things are happening worth jotting down – to have for family history’s sake, that perhaps our kids can someday learn from if not simply gain some insights into who the Cowboy and I are, why we do what we do, what our hopes are for them and the kind of people we are in our own words, versus the words some others may ever choose. A lot of fun conversations have been had, I can’t wait to share them. Others have been very serious and not fun at all. They’re all part of the journey of this blessed new life.

I’ve been perplexed about where to start again. How to jump back in. After witnessing another stunning South Dakota sunset tonight, I thought, why the heck not here …

South Dakota sunset.

South Dakota sunset.

Instagram Pic and caption I posted tonight with it on FB in response to a few comments on the shot:

The sunset tonight only seemed to get more beautiful and bright with each passing minute – that was until at about 10:30pm when the last little bit of light faded off into the horizon. We were sitting out back of my in-laws home with the most wonderful group of friends. Light breeze. Smell of corn growing in the nearby fields under high humidity. Horses in the pasture. Kids running around. We just sat, enjoyed each other’s company and soaked it all up. What a beautiful summer night.

……………..

It’s been a long time since I’ve even logged into WordPress. Thanks to those of you who keep checking in on this blog, for whatever reason. I hope in some small way the words I write or the photos I’ve taken resonate with you in a meaningful way. We all have so much we can learn from each other in this life ..

Life. And death ..

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We all know that someday, the inevitable will come.  Right?  With life, comes death.  But it’s amazing, isn’t it, how the loss of someone we love, at times even those we don’t know, absolutely rocks us at our very core.  Life for a moment, a day, weeks on end.. stands still while we see the rest of the world still spinning.  It is one of the most surreal experiences I believe we can ever go through.  Yet it is very real.  And I believe, it is often at that point, the meaning of life shifts for each of us.  If we let it.  Death forces us to truly look at what might be more important than we ever thought it was in life.   There is a shift.

……………

I have lost – what seems for my age – far too many that I am close to.   Immediate family.  Dear friends.  Colleagues.  To suicides.  Accidents.  Heart disease.  Cancer.

It has reshaped how I live my life, how I try to spend my time, how I try to speak to those in particular, that I love and what I view as important throughout the course of any given day.

Yet, when I see someone else affected by a loss of their own, trying to find the right words is never easy.  And it seems right now, there are many I know, experiencing a loss.

I posted what is below, today on Facebook and it seemed to strike a chord.  I wanted to share it again here, as it doesn’t seem these words are widely known or easy to find (I found her poem in the book, What I Wish for You).  Yet they are some of the more powerful, poignant and beautiful I’ve ever seen:

………………

“Was looking for something – something that I might say to comfort a few friends and family who’s hearts are incredibly heavy right now. Came across this. And wanted to share.
By Amy Ludwig Van Derwater

When sorrow comes
to those you love
stay close.

When sadness is
more powerful than words
more powerful than deeds
your warm hand
your quiet company
your self in a chair
saying nothing
will be a gift.

You may wonder
“What can I do?”
There may be
nothing
you can do.

You may wish
to run
Do not run.

Hold hands.
Eat soup.
Listen.
Trace a sunbeam
with your fingers
on the table.

Let yourself smile.
Let yourself cry.

When sorrow comes
to those you love
stay close.

When sorrow comes
to you
let others
stay close too.

The Greenhouse

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The Greenhouse here, it is quite a big operation for a very small town.

The Greenhouse

So, each spring, when all of the new plantings come rolling in truck after truck, the call goes out for help.

Spring plugs.

Spring plugs.

“How did you end up out here or even know about this place?”

The question was asked of me, as I was working alongside several women last week, all have been with the Greenhouse some 20+ years.  They’ve all essentially, been with the place since it opened and they were surprised I even knew about it, given I told them I had only moved to the area recently.

DSC00587

I told them the Cowboy had taken me out to the Greenhouse last spring to introduce me to the owners (friends but also customers of his), to reassure me there are amenities in South Dakota that I also enjoyed back home (which I was worried about, and I thoroughly enjoy gardening), and to give me the opportunity to dig in the dirt around his place and get a few new things planted.

I loved the place.  And apparently the owners noticed, as we left with a two cartloads of plants, flowers and vegetables for the garden.

“Don’t expect me to water any of this,” the Cowboy said as we loaded everything into the back of the truck.

“I don’t,” I responded, adding, “But that just means I’ll have to come back for more….”

A year later, I am back.  There will be plants going home with me again in the near future. But for now, I’m helping plant, prune, water, hang .. whatever is needed while I also work to get my own business on its feet.  Even then, I may still hope for and love a few hours at the Greenhouse when I can get them.

……………

I know of a few friends who think I’ve lost my marbles.  Working at a greenhouse?  I know of at least one other person who feels I should not necessarily go back to exactly what I was doing before, but something along those lines that would have me earning the same paycheck because, well .. just because that’s what this person expects me to do.

I decided long ago, it shouldn’t matter necessarily what others expect of me.  Unfortunately I’m not always great at sticking to that theory, and sometimes you just can’t.  Like when you do have a job, a boss, customers, a family at home .. all those things do need to be considered.  Because they are part of your team.  But outside that circle, well ..

“Let us not try to be the best or worst for others, but let us make every effort to be the best for ourselves.” – Marcus Garvey

I, right now, am feeling really good spending time at the greenhouse.

DSC00538

It’s almost like that sabbatical I have heard so many others, mainly higher education professionals, physicians and clergy, talk about and take.  A time and place that offers you the freedom to just be.  To think.  To regroup.  To dream big or ponder all the problems of the world and how you might help solve them.  All the things I have been hoping to find time again to do.  Digging in the dirt the past few weeks has allowed me to dig a little deeper into my soul and really start churning up what I’m made of and better think about/define what it is that makes me tick.  What will make me grow.

Working at the Greenhouse has also reminded me of a few other things I now realize were lacking in my former career and day to day ..

Crisis or opportunity?

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“I can’t believe you’re leaving your home and your job,” a friend said to me in December after I had given formal notice I was leaving.  “That seems like such a scary thing to do, especially at our age.  What do you think you’ll do?”

Stay with what you know, or ..

I don’t know, I told her but I’m certain the right thing will come along.  If it doesn’t, I’ll create it.  I’ll have to.

At 40, I am (among the masses out there who are) starting over in many ways, with life, with career and with family.  And while that may seem scary to some, I am among those who choose instead to focus on all of the opportunity before me to create the best possible life.

……….

In moving to South Dakota the beginning of January 2013, I did everything possible to give myself a month of downtime .. to regroup, to think, to make conscious decisions about what I wanted to come next in life and career, to dream, to putz, to have a glass of wine in the middle of the day and not worry about being on the clock somewhere, to take care of my daughter and make sure the transition was the best that could ever be possible, to get paperwork organized (you know, all those files you keep saying you’ll get to), make sure address changes were going through, really ground us in our new home, life, marriage and family, to go through boxes of ‘stuff’ I haven’t looked at in years, pitch the old and make room physically and emotionally for all the new in our lives.

After a lifetime of being on the constant go, constant work, always trying to do more, earn more, do better .. I wanted one month.  One month.  To regroup.  Heal.  Center.  Ground myself in our new home.  Take a walk, not a run.  Then.  Then, I thought.. the resumes I have been sending out will certainly have found their way to someone, some company I am a good fit for.  Some opening that’s currently posted.  I’ll have found a great new job working of course, for someone else that is also a great fit and I’ll get at it.

2 1/2 months later, with the right job, the right fit and the right opportunity still somewhat elusive .. perhaps that isn’t what He has planned.

Perhaps the path I am to be on, the one I’ve been sifting and sorting through, dreaming about, narrowing down, passionate about and getting nudged toward is becoming much more clear.