And fun memories were made. Many of which I witnessed, made me miss the Cowboy even more than I usually do the days we are unable to be together. But overall, a beautiful day in a serene setting over fine wine and with good friends. Blessed.
Amazing what new discoveries are out there .. when you take time to walk. And simply look around.
This past Saturday took an hour and walked the Farmer’s Market and upper end of State Street in Madison.
Little window shopping proved an appetizer for return trip soon with the kids. New niche candy shop and bakery just a few doors from each other.
There’s been boom in niche chocolatiers, cupcakeries ..
A big fan of breads and as communities look to shop and support local business, I wonder if this is something we’ll start to see more of. Apparently the case in some parts of the world.
Get out and enjoy …
It has been one of the hottest June’s on record here in Wisconsin and this week at camp, the girls .. most of them anyway .. didn’t seem to mind. Other than one day. They rode in the morning and went to the pool in the afternoon.
“Well,” my daughter tells me on the way home as she is reliving some of the fun that went on this week outside learning better horsemanship .. “some of the girls got really crabby the last couple days. I think it was just too hot.”
We laughed a little about it, especially since we were at that point, sitting in the air conditioned car. I looked at the temperature gauge. 99 degrees. According to the car.
Our 11-year-old absolutely loves this camp ..
This is only our second year of overnight .. but she’s been fortunate to come for years to the day camp. There is something about it. The place. The people. The other girls. Learning something new. Being close to home but not too close to start to really learn to feel more comfortable in her independence. Perhaps most importantly, it’s just camp. Late night chats. Secret stories. Running around like crazy. Freedom of being a kid in a cool place and confidence building in life and social skills. That experience she’ll remember for a lifetime. That she’ll perhaps tell her own daughter about.
She gave a few hugs. Said many thank you’s. Bought the standard camp sweatshirt. Grabbed a Gatorade and we hit the road. Ran errands. Then having had enough of the heat all week, grabbed the dog and headed for the River to cool off.
What a beautiful day.
While she has a few other camps coming up yet this summer, ones that I know she will love in very different ways ..
As we were watching early 4th of July Fireworks from a friends pier on the lake last night and she is leaning on my chest with her arms around me, she says, “Mom, I really miss camp. I’m worried I won’t be able to go back next year.”
“We’ll see,” I told her. “If you love it that much and it is important to you, that might be one of the things we’ll make sure you’re able to do.”
She hugged me tighter and said thanks.
I was walking the other day out of an event, one of my favorite of the year .. with a few dear friends. We were some of the last to leave, having helped clean everything up and putting the place, a camp for kids with disabilities, back to semi-normal.
One: A wise friend and mentor to us all and one of the programs biggest supporters .. who has been married to one of the most wonderful women now, for 40 plus years.
The other two: A sweet young couple I have gotten to know well and who I just love. And who at some point, I fully expect these two will get married. Sooner than later if my girlfriend has anything to say about it. She can’t hint to her rockstar boyfriend enough she is ready for the ring.
“I hear you’re getting married!” he says to me, seeming genuinely excited and sincere about it all. “That’s just great .. ” he adds, among a few other wonderful thoughts and observations. I have known this gentleman a very long time. His company was one of the first I went to work for long ago just out of high school .. we have remained friends ever since, having many mutual close friends, colleagues and causes that are important to us.
“If I can offer you one piece of advice, because I really do want things to work out for you with this one … ” he says .. which had I been drinking coffee or any sort of beverage, I would have spit it out laughing. For as sweet as I know he was being with that comment, it just struck me as funny.
He continued. “Something my wife and I have been blessed to have always done. Don’t ever go to bed upset with one another.”
Agreed. Not going to bed angry is a goal I have always strived for. I think we all do. But, we also all know it’s not always easy .. is it. Sometimes circumstance and personalities get in the way no matter how much you may try to hit that goal.
This dear friend continued to share a story about one of the most important lessons he learned from one of his High School teachers way back when he was a ‘young buck’, Mr. Hyman. “Hyman,” I asked? I had to chuckle. Hyman, he confirmed. Know it’s spelled differently but for a teacher that name had to be tough. Anyway ..
Mr. Hyman had apparently told his class long ago when our friend was a student, ‘Marriage is a lot of work. And you may think each of you needs to give 50/50 to make it work. But it’s not. One person always end up putting in 90% of the effort. And the other person, also needs to put in 90% of the effort. And somewhere in there you hope it adds up to 100%.”
Lessons we learn firsthand being in a marriage.
Being out of one as well. That’s a lesson that can apply to many things in life.
Going back into another union of hearts, dreams, families and all that goes along with that is a conversation the Cowboy and I have had on countless occasions. Not wanting to repeat past mistakes. Taking care to not take for granted what the other does or contributes. Knowing there is always work the other is doing or energy being put in that shouldn’t be taken for granted. Communication that needs to happen about life, with each other, to each other that doesn’t involve bills, the kids, the ex’s and problems. Dreams always need to be shared. Dates always need to be had. Respect for each other and who we are as individuals as well as together is the goal. Acknowledging that’s a lot of hard work, but deciding it’s worth it because the reward of a family that cares about each other, supports each other, is kind to one another, roots their day and actions in their faith, talks happiness, works only for the best and expects only the best of each other and delights in the good in the world around them sure beats the alternative.
Plus it’s no fun going to bed mad each night.
And my eyes always get puffy from crying so it’s just not pretty either.
It was only a few years after sharing his marriage insights in class, Mr. Hyman got divorced. Successful outcome of the marriage or not, it is still a good reminder that while it may not always look like both parties in a marriage or a job or any relationship are putting in all they can and more, often they are. And while we can always work harder and give more, we hope that in giving all we’ve got, no matter the ratio, it adds up to a beautiful life. Even when its not always pretty.
There is something absolutely majestic about seeing a hot air balloon up close .. or, off in the distance .. the beautiful colors up in the air a stark contrast to the blue skies surrounding it and the rolling green hills below..
Someday I’d like to get to Albuquerque for the International event there .. seems it would be amazing.
But in the meantime, I try and catch a glimpse wherever I can. Sometimes, when there is time, I like to see how close I can drive to where they might be flying to catch a glimpse more up close and personal. The sight never ceases to impress me, like .. I’ve never seen another hot air balloon before.
This past weekend we took the drive over to a festival here in Wisconsin. I had hoped the night glow would amaze my daughter like my first balloon rally event did me but stronger than desired winds and skies, threatening rain, wouldn’t allow for much activity.
So we enjoyed what he participants there that night, were able to do.
Perhaps the highlight of the night (besides the Sno Cone) ..
We ran into friends ..
And each of the girls got a chance to stand in the basket and get their photo taken like they were breathing fire (Thank you!!! They loved it!) ..
While it wasn’t quite the scene I had imagined it might be, having been to at least one rally in the past ..
It was still beautiful. I am always so amazed by the dedication any balloonist has to their sport, and the courage in which they take to the air. Some of us can hardly steer a car with two hands on the wheel and clear markings as to where we are supposed to drive. I can’t imagine the precision it takes to learn to guide such a massive object through the air, especially at some of these events where dozens of other balloons are floating nearby and you’ve got to maneuver around them.
As I was glancing at the Albuquerque page .. I came across this, The Balloonist’s Prayer. Didn’t realize there was such a thing. But how beautiful .. and, prayers are always good.
May all of our travels, whether it is by land, sea or air, always be safe.
May the winds welcome you with softness.
May the sun bless you with its warm hands.
May you fly so high and so well that God
joins you in laughter and sets you gently
back into the loving arms of Mother Earth.
.. That Has Not Gone ‘According to Plan’.
When you’re young .. you can’t wait to grow up. When you ‘grow up’.. we’re taught you go to school. Find a job. Find ‘the one’. Get a dog. Get married. Buy a house. Have children. Save for retirement/college educations/and the little things. Grow old together and live happily ever after.
It is a wonderful picture painted .. a great thing to strive for and would probably be a beautiful life.
I know and am close to a number of families who are older, who have had this life and have great stories to tell .. or who are currently living it out well.
On the flip side, I probably know more who are challenged to ‘live the dream.’ To follow, for so many reasons, the path that has long been considered our ‘societal norm.’
What is the norm anymore? Kind of scary to think sometimes. While it may not always be what we want or were hoping for .. while we may be disappointed we didn’t do better .. wished we had made better choices .. or done things differently ..
Relishing where we are at, is also one of the best things we can do in the face of adversity and change and disappointment over not being ‘where we are supposed to be’ at any given time in our adult lives.
For instance …
I had a house. I loved my house. I loved both my/our houses, actually. The first one my ex and I lost to toxic mold, which meant we spent two years in and out of temporary residences with a newborn who knew nothing different and could handle it far better than perhaps her parents did. But we made it through. And then we bought a second home, far more home than we should have bought, but after a catastrophic loss on the first, insurance dictated what kind of second home we could buy and where it had to be located. And we did the best we could, given the restrictions. But it was tough. And that was before the divorce. In the divorce, I kept the house because I wanted to do what I could to give our daughter stability through what was another tough time for us all. But it sank me, financially.
Don’t sell yet. Don’t sell yet, friends and acquaintances in the real estate industry would tell me. Let the market recover. But little did we know, the recession was about to hit. All I could do was try and work more, work harder, to make ends meet. I was home less and less. My gardens became overgrown. The dogs had to entertain themselves while I was away. And rarely did I see or have the chance to spend a few minutes chatting over the back fence with a neighbor.
A year and a half after selling the house, we find ourselves in a tiny two bedroom apartment. We sold many of our things and I can’t wait yet to give away/sell more. I’m tired of stuff. I don’t want things. I want time. With my daughter. With family, friends and others I love. More savings. Less debt. Less house to clean. Yard work, but only as much as I want. And time to hang out with the neighbors.
Which for the first time in I would say most of my adult life, most of these things, I’m finding I am able to do either for the first time, or again.
I am loving the upsides of us downsizing. And the things I’m rediscovering about life or myself or what’s important, I’m not sure I would have learned, not this quickly anyway, had everything just gone along according to society’s ‘master plan.’
Last night after my daughter and the ten year old next door took the dog for a walk, which they do most every night, I got to walk into their apartment to say, it’s time to come home and get ready for bed. They were totally just hanging out, like I did with neighbors when I was a kid.
The adults spend time chatting out back, over a beer at the end of the day or the garden beds the landlord allowed to be built and who’s growing what.
We were talking about getting a whiffle ball game going some night. A ‘community yard sale’. A badmitton net put up. The hula hoops were out.
The kids were learning some skateboard moves from one of the guys upstairs. He’s a researcher in genetics. His girlfriend a nurse. Their roommate a chef. Our other neighbor, a professor. A teacher and nursing assistant live next door. We’ve met and spent time with some of their families .. last night the woman who’s apartment I moved into, came downstairs from her now 3rd floor apartment and introduced us to her sister, who is deaf. She may now give my daughter and the boy next door lessons in sign language.
Conversations I was rarely able to find time to have with my neighbors when I would come home each night to my actual home.
“Can we grab the dog,” is the text I find on my phone now almost daily from the neighbors in the apartment next door, knowing I’m still at work. Then comes another, in jest, I think: “We just looooooovvvvee her, you might not get her back. Do not call the police.”
“What are you doing for dinner, we have extra food, come on up!”
“Grab a seat, stay!”
“Can I help you with that?”
“When’s the Cowboy coming back?” 🙂
“Do you want us to put something on the grill for you? It’s hot ..”
I miss my old neighborhood (and neighbors), which isn’t too far from where I’m at in terms of physical location. But while .. where I’m at in life isn’t necessarily where I’m supposed to be if you look at ‘the plan’ .. I couldn’t be in a better place.