Tag Archives: Horses

First time for everything ..

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I wake to find the Cowboy sitting at the keyboard, once again.

“I did my first tweet,” he laughs.  “I tweeted.”

We are both back at the computer, me to check on a few things, look for story ideas and share some thoughts here before I hopefully squeeze in a run before work today.

Him, to continue gathering information and thoughts before his trip back home and to Pierre this Thursday morning.

The Cowboy has been at the computer a lot lately.

In fact, he told me yesterday, he hasn’t worked this much on the computer since college.

If you haven’t read a couple of my earlier posts that would explain what any of this is about.. It’s all in preparation of testifying before the Senate Judiciary Committee this week.

The Cowboy plans to testify along with some others, about why he feels the South Dakota state legislature should support a law allowing both parents in a divorce to have time and placement with their children.  There are two options.  One would be a step above current law.  The other (below) would be a tremendous step forward.

http://legis.state.sd.us/sessions/2012/Bills/SB60P.pdf

Current statute in South Dakota dictates it is in the best interest of a child to live almost exclusively with one parent.

http://www.sdjudicial.com/uploads/forms/ProSeDivorceForms/UJS%20302%20-%20South%20Dakota%20Visitation%20Guidelines.pdf

And it has torn countless families apart, we’re learning.  The Cowboy has been taking an increasing number of calls from other parents who want to help raise their kids, but who, through divorce have been deliberately alienated from their children.

The Cowboy, by the way, has tried calling his kids everyday – once a day since seeing them last.  He gets a few hours after school with them each Wednesday.  Just one phone call has been allowed.  That was on Thursday this past week.  He hasn’t been allowed to speak to his children since.

We’re just never sure why that is.  Especially when the kids ask him to call more often.

It’s sad he is left in this scenario with two choices;  tell them he does call but for some reason their mother doesn’t answer .. or tell them they’re right, he should call more often leaving them to believe their dad doesn’t care or want to be more a part of their lives.  No one wins here.  Including the kids.

Which is why .. the Cowboy sits at the computer again today.  Making sure he’s maximizing awareness these two shared parenting bills are coming up for debate.

Given the lack of publicity, the Cowboy felt a bit defeated this weekend, that no one really cares.

I remind him, it’s enough that he does.  Because there are many, many others out there who like him, aren’t sure what to do about their own devastating situation.  Someone needs to be their voice.

Tweet, testimony, or otherwise.  I’m pretty sure he feels good to be doing ‘something’ to work toward positive change.  If not in his own situation, hopefully for others.

What I do know for certain, is that he’s looking forward to the day twitter is no longer in his vocabulary, he can get back shoeing horses (winter fortunately is a slow time of year for work) and the work he enjoys most.

That is being a dad.

Serving up breakfast

Cowboy Ethics ..

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I think there is power in having what you stand for, in black and white..

Or whatever color ink you prefer, on paper.  Written down.  That you can look at each day and remember with conviction, how you want to live your life.

The Cowboy posted this the other day ..

I love it.

And there are few days that go by where I don’t look at the Cowboy with amazement at how much he lives by (not sure that he always has, but he certainly is now) the Code.

Good reminders for us all.

I have two signs of my own, hanging up in my home.  I’m not sure who glances at them besides me.  But I remind my daughter often if she wonders where I stand on things, to give them a glance.

While one reflects more of the same values the Cowboy Code does and has a lot more points to consider..

The other is pretty simple:

One of my 'codes'

It makes me laugh.  And reminds me to let those who prefer drama and the degradation of others in this life, to play it out on their own.

While ‘be nice or leave’ may not specifically fall as stated on the top ten list for the Cowboy Ethics..

The Cowboy likes it.  And I’m pretty sure it might fall under #10.

(late add)  The Cowboy says we should add a #11 – Remember your Gold Toe socks.

The gym…

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We really need to figure out how to make the back and forth between SD and WI work a little better.  Only because, well, because we’d prefer to be in the same place.  But also because its taking a toll I’m pretty sure, on both our waistlines.

The Cowboy and I have individually been on the go, non-stop it seems .. like many of you.  Since before the holidays, we have been eating poorly … (well, worse than we might otherwise, with a steady diet of coffee & red bull for the long drives, cheese, crackers, some fruit thrown in for good measure and for me, chocolate.  Gotta have chocolate.  Just a little bit everyday.  And a good microbrew when its appropriate.  True.  I love good beer.) not getting enough sleep … (well, that’s what everyone keeps telling me but I’ve never slept much) and definitely, not enough exercise.

Until I met the Cowboy… I was kind of an exercise fiend.  Not like, over-the-top about it. And not uber competitive.  But the gym was on my calendar at least twice a week along with running 4-5 days.  And, I would pick a few races each year and train for something.

I just like to be fit.  Feel fit if nothing else.


In need these days of a tune-up

So does the Cowboy.

Despite the fact we try and run a few times a week and I’m comfortable looking like a fool out on the streets in the neighborhood doing lunges, side steps, pushups and the like, don’t think either of us are ‘feelin’ it at the moment.

So today I forced myself, despite having only 20 minutes to get in and out and change somewhere in there into my workout clothes.. to go to the gym.

It felt good.  And as I called the Cowboy quick on my way in the door, he says to me, “Honey, that’s great you’re going.  I’ve got to start being more consistent with working out, too.  I know we’ve been running, but I’ve got to do more.”

Both of us do, I’m thinking to myself.

I didn’t tell him as I was about to hang up.. I was finishing off half a Snickers bar, feeling famished not having had any lunch yet.

I’ve got to keep going to the gym.

Gathering dust

We all say that, don’t we?  Hoping we find a way to stick to it.  It may be one more thing on the to-do list each day.. but probably one of the most important things that just needs to get put back on the schedule.    And who needs sleep anyway…..

A good night’s rest…

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Its been a long day and the Cowboy is sleeping in bed alongside me.  About 20 seconds and he was out.

“I’m not used to going all day,” he says very seriously a few hours ago.  “You know that.  And I want to be in bed before midnight.  We have a big day tomorrow.”

Afternoon chores

I’m used to the Cowboy being in a much lighter mood, more well rested and having gotten in a run and played his guitar for about an hour each day.

We’ve been on the go now for about 6 days in a row.  Early mornings, full days and late nights.  Who wouldn’t it wear on?  But when we cancelled our initial trip to Phoenix and decided there was work to do here, my comment at that time to the Cowboy was, ‘If I’m coming to work, then we’re going to work.  What are your biggest challenges right now….”

Alfalfa hay

After a late night painting – it was an early rise this morning.  We had several meetings to get to in Sioux Falls, a trim (remember Cowboy is a farrier?) on the way into town.. the owner tell me when I ask her what she does, her name is Joyce and she packs parachutes for the Guard, how cool is that?.  You think things go wrong when YOU have a bad day at work?  ….

We managed to fit in some noodling around town in-between which is fun for me because I’ve still got a lot to learn about the area and so does the Cowboy (which I’ll be writing about in a later post), and then we booked back home for chores and we had hoped his daughter’s basketball 1st grade basketball game.   She wouldn’t be there tonight, we sadly found out.  The Cowboy tried calling to talk with the kids to tell them he loved them and see what was up.  No response.

So, we stayed home and got the paint cans back out.  Only a couple more rooms to go!  (A huge shout out, by the way, to the Cowboy’s mom who comes over to help!)

Another beautiful day in South Dakota has come and gone.

Tomorrow there will still be chores .. and some painting left to wrap up .. but a new, bigger challenge comes.

I glance over before I turn in, myself for some zzzzzz’s.  I hope the Cowboy at the very least gets a good night’s sleep ..

Because we are off in the morning to Pierre.

Paint.

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Painting I find, is generally one of those things you either love to do or despise.

At least that’s the feedback I get whenever I mention the topic.  Most, I’m fairly certain, lean toward despise.  I don’t know… what do you think?

I don’t mind it.  In fact, I miss it .. as my house-sitting and apartment dwelling over the past year means I no longer have sprucing up of my own to do.  It’s good exercise and typically it means some area of a home or building has gotten one of the most inexpensive face-lifts available.

So we were fired up about today.  Because the Cowboy will tell you, his cute little house needs some sprucing up.

He’s also been waiting to do anything on the house now for close to a year.  The Cowboy wasn’t a.) sure he wanted to keep the house in the divorce and b.) that the ex would ever turn over the paperwork so that he could refinance.

We decided that no matter which it turns out to be, a sale and/or staying .. the place needs a fresh coat of paint.

Why paint you ask?

Much appreciated help from the Cowboys mom

Well, there were nail holes everywhere.  The previous paint job was also a bit rough and the colors were incredibly dark .. way too dark for a small little house with not enough windows.   Every room was that way.  So the task before us wasn’t and still isn’t for the faint at heart.

But perhaps even more pressing as to why we needed to paint:  they were colors the ‘ex’ had picked out and gone with years ago.

And the Cowboy, thankfully, is doing all he can to remove any of the bad energy, or .. juju as my girlfriends and I like to call it, left lurking in corners from a tough marriage and divorce.

Now that may sound ridiculous to some of you .. but others, you out there know exactly  what I’m talking about.  Moving on in the same place can be tough.  Bad energy can linger in a space after something so devastating as a divorce.  Don’t get me wrong, some reminders are things to cherish.  Others we just need to move past.

So today, we painted.

And we will again tomorrow as the everything from the few rooms still needing it, stays heaped on the futon.

'Everything away from the walls' heap

Now, if you’re thinking ‘Is this girl serious?’ ..

I’m not sure I’m giving you the best resources here.  But there are a ton of articles/opinions available on the topic of clearing negative energy.

http://www.ehow.com/how_2165074_clear-negative-energy.html

Listen.  All I know is, if I had known then what I know now, I would have sold my home and just about all furniture acquired with my own ex, shortly after finalizing our divorce.  No matter how much I tried to paint over the past, smudge or make new memories say .. having friends/family for dinner and serving them off the sideboard he and I bought when we first moved into our old home .. hoping to give the sideboard new meaning and memories .. four years post our divorce it still reminded me of him every morning as I walked by on my way out the door.  Ridiculous?  Maybe.  But can’t change what it was.  Only when I sold any of it/gave it away/let it go including the house, did I feel free from a past that perpetuated heartache.

I think it might be a woman thing more than a guy thing, to hold onto all that.  But some of us do.  Everything in this life, I believe, carries energy.  I like to keep the good energy around.  Where it doesn’t exist, I believe is opportunity to create.

In my humble opinion, the Cowboy deserves to get back even a smidge of the great energy he shares with the world each day.

So we’ll keep painting ..  It looks great so far.  Only 4 more rooms to go.

“What am I doing,” he said to me at one point, sitting on the floor, painting along the trim and trying not to get it on the baseboard.   “I don’t paint.”

We laughed.. and both took another sip of beer.

Today was the first time the Cowboy has ever painted anything.  Well, other than in maybe art class.  He was never allowed in the past because .. well, because he might not do it right.

Job report:  There were a few spots we’ll have to hit again.  But .. all joking aside, he did great.

And, we had a great time.

Today’s project has already spurred conversation about what other improvement projects will be fun to do together.  And as he stood in the kitchen, one of the only rooms we truly finished today, he said time and again, “I really like it.  I can’t believe how much better it feels in here.”

Its amazing what a can of paint (and some willing hands) can do.

Lessons relearned..

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It seems like it has been such a long time since I have had or taken a weekend to really just be still.

And in doing so, I regained some wonderful insights I happen to be reflecting on this beautiful afternoon as the sun streams through the window across the table at me..

Sundays are wonderful to relax and grab meals with family and friends.  And making a quick choice at the Hubbard Avenue Diner is impossible.

Weekends can be for catching up on sleep.  Made even more wonderful lying next to a child.  I still didn’t sleep much, but even reading on the couch and starting this blog this weekend have me feeling well rested.

Feeling guilty I’m well rested and probably a smudge less sick than I have been, because I didn’t go out for a dear friends birthday party last night has got to stop because it gets me nowhere.  And she most likely understands.  Birthday drinks tomorrow night?

Regularly being present at church is powerful.

Not enough people have heard the song “Blessings” by Laura Story.  I say that only because the message is such a powerful one if you are open to it.  And the band at church today couldn’t have made it sound more personal.

http://www.myspace.com/laurastory/music/songs/blessings-80261255

Winter is beautiful and sometimes so is the cold.  But I don’t like being cold.  (need new long underwear – note to self)

The cowboy is concerned I might make him look too much like a wuss in my posts.  Especially because I mentioned that he cried, in the post yesterday.  But that, in my eyes, makes him more able to be the man I believe he wants to be.. and that I want to be with, than any other man I’ve ever known.  Plus, there is nothing wuss about him.  In case any of you were wondering.

My wonderful, divorced or still single girlfriends are frustrated.  Not just because they are single.  But because far too many of the men who are confident enough to come up and ask them out, are married.  Sorry, but its true.

I miss the Cowboy when we are apart.

Afternoon hay at the TRC Ranch

That is a lesson I am reminded of daily.

I can’t wait until there is a view like this out my back door.. possibly front door and sides of the house, too.  If there were a mountain range or two thrown in there somewhere, it’d be my own little heaven on earth.

$100 doesn’t get you far on groceries if you’re not the stellar coupon lady.  I remember when we were kids and went grocery shopping with my parents.  And I’d about pass out in fear for them when I saw the tally hit $100.  Now its like, 3 bags full, if you’re lucky.

Playdates are so awesome at 10 years old.  Awesome for moms too who want to get some things done like clean, catch up on errands or maybe write .. and not feel guilty they’re ignoring their children….